Why do you lack confidence? Perhaps you think you’re ugly or believe you haven’t achieved anything in life, maybe both. So, how do you change that?This article we’ll explore methods for introverts in romantic relationships to overcome their insecurities.

Handsome is not the only key to finding a girlfriend

Let’s talk about being handsome. Why is everyone nowadays saying that you have to be handsome to find a girlfriend?

First of all, ask yourself a question: where did you hear this from? You probably can’t remember, right? Let me tell you, this kind of brainwashing started from your early childhood. Your parents and teachers told you, “Once you go to college and get a good job, which girl wouldn’t like you?” Movies tell you that you have to be cool like James Bond to attract women. Advertisements tell you that if you drive a luxury car, beautiful women will naturally come up to you and start a conversation. All these things you’ve experienced from childhood to adulthood are not necessarily wrong, but they are definitely exaggerated.

Here’s the truth: To become an attractive man, the most important thing is to clear your mind of these worldly values. Engage with women directly and personally, and use your own experiences as your reference, not what others have told you. If we must talk about physical appearance, a handsome photo can indeed help on social media platforms where looks are the primary criterion, but it’s still just a first impression. I know many women who have met numerous handsome men on social media, but most of them lack conversation skills or have low emotional intelligence. When these women chat with these handsome men, they often try to please them, but the women don’t end up liking them.

Of course, just because appearance isn’t everything doesn’t mean you should neglect your image. A good outfit and hairstyle can make you more approachable in social settings and might even help you match with more women on social media, but that’s where it ends. True attraction comes from within, from your character, intelligence, and the way you treat others. So, don’t be afraid to be your authentic self and focus on developing your inner qualities. That’s what will truly make you stand out.

Now, let’s talk about feeling like you haven’t achieved anything. I know many introverted men who would say：

• I have no advantages.
• I’ve never had any talents since childhood,
• I’m not good at studying, and I’m neither tall nor handsome.
• I really don’t know what I can be proud of.

For these brothers, I’ll address this from 3 aspects.

Identify your goals

Low self-esteem often leads to a belief that you’re inadequate in every way, without a clear sense of value. People with low self-esteem tend to compare themselves to others who excel in various areas, whether it’s comparing their girlfriend’s looks to the trendiest guy on social media, wealth to the most ambitious individual, or the number of books read to the most intellectually inclined. This kind of comparison only leads to a sense of failure. Remember, you can’t excel in every aspect, and you’re not competing with everyone.

So, there’s no need tocompare yourself to everyone around you. Instead, focus on your own goals. If you’re a researcher, prioritize your research topics and dedication. If you’re a teacher, focus on your knowledge and teaching abilities. If you’re in sales, concentrate on your interpersonal skills and social intelligence. Ignore the rest. Blind comparisons will only add to your worries.

Embrace Imperfection

You often believe that you need to be fully prepared before taking action. So, when you develop feelings for someone, you hesitate to pursue them because you feel inadequate. But the result of waiting is often that the person you like has already found someone else, and you’re left to silently grieve over their online displays of affection. Brothers who lack confidence, it’s crucial to escape the mindset that “confident people must excel at everything they do.” The truth is, even the most talented individuals are not perfect. The majority of a person’s confidence often comes from a specific area where they excel and are most comfortable.

Therefore, don’t try to gain confidence by striving to be all-rounded and perfect. That approach will only lead to deeper feelings of inferiority and anxiety. Wanting to earn millions in a year, master singing, dancing, and rapping, having a six-pack, and speaking fluent foreign languages might seem appealing, but trying to juggle all of these goals will likely result in none of them being achieved well. Before your confidence can even take root, it may already wither due to a lack of focus. It’s far more efficient and effective to build confidence by focusing on what you’re already good at. That’s where your strength lies and where you’re most likely to find success.

Push Yourself Forward

Many Introverted guys are afraid to take the first step is doomed to fail at everything, because without a start, there can never be an end. If you don’t challenge yourself to do things that scare you, If you don’t speak to the woman you like, if you don’t ask your boss for a raise, or if you remain silent when being bullied – no matter how much you feel love, dissatisfaction, or grievance inside, others will never see it. When you feel afraid, take the first step. This step could lead to eternal failure, or it could lead to success.

You might ask, “What if I confess my feelings to woman I like and they reject me?” “What if I go for an interview and don’t get the offer?”

Here’s a tip: when you’re afraid of rejection or uncertain about the outcome, try replacing “what if” with “even if.” This simple shift in perspective can make a big difference. “Even if I get rejected by the person I like, what’s the worst that could happen? I’ll never know if they like me unless I try.” “Even if I don’t get the job offer, I’ll have learned something for the next time.” By replacing “what if” with “even if,” you remove the fear of failure. After all, if you don’t try, you’ve already failed. So why be afraid? Take a leap of faith, push yourself, and you’ll find that you can go much further than you ever imagined.

Finally, Zack wishes that every introverted brother won’t hesitate to approach the woman they like due to a lack of confidence. Confident people are not born perfect. To truly overcome a lack of self-belief, it’s not about becoming better; it’s about accepting your imperfections. After that, present yourself openly and generously. Don’t worry about people not liking you because that’s inevitable. But the ones who truly appreciate you will give you an even stronger power that far outweighs others’ opinions. Embrace your flaws, share your true self, and let the right people see the beauty that lies within.

There aren’t that many prodigies in this world. Excellent people are always striving hard to improve themselves. I’m Zack, still striving to improve myself, and so can you. If you have any emotional issues, feel free to contact me!