Talking to girls as an Introvert is originally intended as a way to bring both sides closer, but it can often feel like a daunting task, leading to missed opportunities. However, with the right approach, striking up a conversation with a woman can be effortless. In this article, we’ll delve into the art of chatting with girls, and once you grasp these concepts, engaging in meaningful conversation with them will become second nature.

Understanding the Essence of Talking

First, let’s discuss the essence of chatting. It’s an emotional exchange that propels relationships forward, not just a simple question-and-answer session or information swap. Many introverted individuals mistakenly believe that by chatting with a girl daily, she’ll grow accustomed to their presence and eventually develop feelings for them.

This notion is naïve. Even if you cover a thousand topics with a woman and there’s no emotional engagement, your relationship will remain stagnant. Surface-level conversations will eventually run their course. On the other hand, if you can evoke emotions during your chats, the conversation will become more exciting, deepening your bond. As your relationship grows closer, the topics you discuss will naturally expand, making it effortless to find new things to talk about. This is when chatting enters a positive feedback loop. Therefore, the key to successful conversation lies not in quantity but in quality, emotional exchange, and relationship progression.

Now, let’s move on to the chatting process.

Conversation Mindsets Talking To Girls As An Introvert

Purpose of Talking

When engaging in conversation with a girl, having a clear purpose is essential. It’s like going shopping for sneakers. You have a specific goal: to find a pair that fits well, matches your style, and is within your budget.

Similarly, when interacting with a woman you’re interested in, your objective should be to establish a romantic relationship, capture her heart, and make her your girlfriend. Without a defined purpose, no matter how long you chat, you won’t achieve the desired outcome. The woman won’t receive your romantic signals, and you won’t be able to gauge her feelings towards you. Only by clarifying your intentions can both of you move towards a romantic relationship. Once she understands the reason behind your chats, she’ll consider whether she’s open to pursuing a romantic relationship with you. At this point, your conversations become meaningful.

Some introvert guys hesitate to make their intentions clear, fearing rejection or misinterpreting advice from relationship experts who caution against revealing too much too soon. They opt for a slow approach, aiming to become friends first.

However, if you don’t communicate your goals explicitly, even if the woman suspects your intentions, she may pretend not to know, leading your conversations in the wrong direction. She may treat you as a good friend, and in the best-case scenario, you’ll remain friends. The only way for you to end up in a romantic relationship with her is if she sees you as a potential partner.

For instance, if a girl says, “It’s almost Christmas, and I still don’t have a boyfriend,” and you reply, “You’re so beautiful; it shouldn’t be hard for you to find someone,” you’re engaging in a friendly conversation, offering comfort without any romantic intent. But if you say, “My bad, my bad. I’ve kept you waiting too long,” you’re hinting at a romantic relationship, suggesting that you could be the one to end her single status. This steers the conversation towards a romantic direction, and she’ll likely consider the possibility of a relationship with you. As long as she understands your intentions, your interactions will progress steadily towards a romantic relationship.

Focusing on Emotions

When chatting with girls, the core is emotional exchange. The fundamental goal is to alter their emotional state, evoke emotional fluctuations, and inspire feelings of love, rather than relying on logical persuasion to win their hearts.

Many introverted men seldom participate in social activities, resulting in a limited understanding of the outside world. Their primary source of information often comes from the internet, where negative stereotypes about women prioritizing money and men needing wealth to attract women are prevalent.Consequently, when many introverted guys engage in conversation with girls, they tend to mention their savings, properties, cars, and how well they can treat her. All of these are logical persuasions.Moreover, many guys approach conversations with a problem-solving mindset, missing the emotional core of what the woman is saying.

For instance, if a girl says, “I’m on my period,” instead of offering solutions like “drink more hot water and keep warm,” which address the logical aspect, you could say something like, “Turn on your phone’s vibration, and I’ll call to give you a virtual massage.”

Similarly, when a girl mentions, “My lipstick broke,” instead of consoling her, you could relate to her emotion by sharing a personal experience that evoked a similar feeling, such as, “I remember when I bought the new iPhone 15 Pro and lost it right after.” The former response focuses on the logical aspect of the situation, while the latter connects with the woman’s emotions, providing timely and effective emotional feedback. This creates a sense of mutual understanding and empathy.

Each emotion represents a need, and there is a corresponding feedback for every emotion. Mastering this skill requires empathy and the ability to put oneself in the other person’s emotional state. Imagine how you would feel in that situation and what emotional feedback you would crave. This emotional feedback is often what the other person desires as well. When someone excels at this, they possess what is known as “emotional value.” Therefore, when chatting with a woman, you are essentially engaging in an emotional dialogue. Women often don’t care about the logical coherence or rigorousness of the conversation. The more unconventional and whimsical your approach, the more likely you are to evoke strong emotions in her.

Chat Openings and Conclusions

Why don’t girls like questions like “What are you doing?”, “Have you eaten?”, or “Are you asleep?”These are typical examples of demanding conversations. Your behavior is akin to that of a beggar who, after receiving a dollar, becomes addicted and wants more. It’s quite annoying. When chatting with a girl you just met, the most important thing is to break the ice, not be restrained, quickly eliminate any sense of strangeness, and enter into a normal interactive state.

If you and the girl have a mutual acquaintance, the opening is quite simple. For example, if this girl was introduced by a friend, you can say, “I was introduced by XX, and I have a good impression of you. Can we chat a bit?” If it’s a chance encounter, describe the scene and emotions of your meeting. You could say, “Did I surprise you when I suddenly greeted you yesterday?”

If you don’t have any common ground with the girl, start by finding topics based on her information. People are always concerned about themselves, so talking about the other person is the easiest way to get a response. For instance, if the girl’s Instagram profile picture is of a cat, you can say, “So you like cats? We have something to talk about then.”

To quickly become familiar with a girl after the opening line, chat like an acquaintance. This will make it easier for her to enter into the conversation. Remember, women need to be led. The framework you establish at the beginning determines the state of your future interactions. For instance, if the girl is chatting with you while working, you could say, “I’m going to report someone for slacking off at work,” and she’ll easily slip into a playful mood and engage in flirtatious banter.

Now, let’s discuss conclusions. Chatting with a girl isn’t about talking as much as possible. You want to give her a sense of wanting more, so she looks forward to your conversations.

Many Introverted guys think that once they start chatting with a girl, they should keep going until she’s tired and ready for bed. This isn’t ideal. Waking up the next day and immediately sending a “good morning” text can be a turn-off, making you appear bored or with nothing else to do. Therefore, dare to end the conversation, and the best time to do so is when the chat is at its peak. This leaves some imagination and makes it easier to pick up the conversation next time, possibly even continuing the previous topic or starting with just an emoji.

In essence, mastering the art of conversation as an introvert entails a shift in mindset towards emotional resonance and clarity of intention. By recognizing the importance of emotional exchange, setting clear objectives, and approaching interactions with genuine curiosity, introverts can navigate conversations with ease and forge meaningful connections with women. Remember, the journey towards confident and authentic communication is ongoing, but with practice and perseverance, introverts can thrive in the realm of social interaction and cultivate fulfilling relationships.

There aren’t that many prodigies in this world. Excellent people are always striving hard to improve themselves. I’m Zack, still striving to improve myself, and so can you. If you have any emotional issues, feel free to contact me!